Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Your Identity After the Nest Empties

A few weeks ago, I shared a blog called “When the Nest Empties… What Next?” and was blown away by the response. So many of you messaged me saying, “This is exactly how I feel,” or “I didn’t know anyone else was going through this.”

…And that’s exactly what I explore in this post.
(Psst... I’ve also created a free workbook to help guide you through this stage — more on that below!)

🔗Here’s the link to When the Nest Empties Workbook

That post struck a deep chord — because it gave voice to something many women experience quietly:
The moment when your role as a hands-on parent fades… and you're left wondering, what now?

But for many women, it’s not just the children who leave.

Sometimes, when the nest empties, your partner leaves too — whether through separation, divorce, or emotional distance.
And sometimes, just when you think life might finally offer space for you, a new caregiving role appears.

This blog explores what happens when your identity — built on years of serving others — is suddenly uncertain.
It’s about rediscovering who you are underneath the roles, and why this transitional phase can be the beginning of something truly powerful.

When the Nest Empties… What Next?

When the Roles Fall Away: My Real-Life Midlife Reset

When my eldest daughter Abbey left for university in Maidstone, Kent, everything changed.

My marriage had been rocky for some time. We’d tried — more than once — to make it work. But shortly after Abbey moved out, my husband did too. We’d just relocated for his Navy posting, so I found myself raising a young child in a brand new town, newly single, and feeling utterly lost at 43.

It wasn’t just that my daughter had flown the nest — it was that every part of my identity was suddenly shifting. I didn’t know who I was anymore.

And then, years later, when my youngest left for university, I thought perhaps life might open up.
But instead, my elderly dad moved in with me — and I became his full-time carer. He struggled to leave the house, and while running my interior design business, I was also navigating his medical needs and the isolation that came with it.

The freedom I thought was coming never really arrived.
And yet — somewhere in the middle of all of it — I began to slowly, gently ask:

💛 Feeling this deeply?
Download my free guided workbook:
When the Nest Empties – A Workbook for Finding Yourself Again
A beautiful space to reconnect with who you are beyond the roles you’ve played

Hold on tight!

What Is Role Identity vs Core Identity?

Most women live much of their lives through role identity — Mum, Wife, Carer, Worker, Daughter.

These roles give structure and purpose to our days. But when those roles shift or fall away, it can lead to a kind of midlife identity crisis.

That’s where your core identity comes in.
Your core identity is the deeper truth of you: your values, your dreams, your personality, your needs — without the labels and expectations.

Reconnecting with your core identity is what allows you to step into the next version of your life — more empowered, more aligned, and more yourself than ever before.

Its OK to be yourself !

Signs You’re Ready to Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood or Divorce

If any of these feel true, your soul is stirring:

✅ You feel lost now that your children or relationship no longer need you
✅ You’ve spent years doing everything for everyone — but now don’t know what you want
✅ You’re craving something new, but unsure where to begin
✅ You feel stuck, invisible, or like your purpose has disappeared
✅ You’re scared to admit it, but something inside you is whispering, “There’s more.”

You’re exactly where you’re meant to be….

Why Midlife Isn’t a Crisis — It’s a Call to Reclaim Yourself

This season of life is often labelled as an empty nest crisis or midlife burnout.
But what if it’s something else?

✨ What if it’s the space where your real self starts to rise?
✨ What if the roles falling away are making room for your reinvention?
✨ What if you’re not starting over — you’re starting fresh, with wisdom and power?

This isn’t the end. It’s a rebirth.

You’ve spent years showing up for others.
Now it’s your turn.
👉 Click here to get your free workbook.

Mother, Care-giver, Partner, Wife, Employee, Professional, Daughter, Friend, Emotional Supporter…….

From Identity Loss to Identity Reclamation: 4 Journaling Prompts to Begin

You don’t need all the answers right now. You just need curiosity. Here are a few prompts to guide your rediscovery:

🌀 What roles have I been living in, and which ones no longer serve me?
🌀 What lights me up — truly — without guilt or permission?
🌀 What values matter most to me now?
🌀 Who am I when no one else is depending on me?

Support for Your Midlife Transformation

As a certified Life & Wellness Coach, I specialise in helping women move through midlife transitions with purpose, confidence, and clarity.

If you're navigating life after motherhood, divorce, or caring for others — and want to reconnect with your identity and passions — I’m here to help.

📞 Book your free 30-minute clarity call here
📘 And download my free Core vs Role Identity Workbook — a gentle guide to help you start rediscovering you.

The story just begins!

The Next Chapter Is Yours to Write

You’ve spent decades showing up for everyone else.
Now it's time to show up for you.

This isn’t about what's gone.
It's about what's waiting to be found — within you!

❤️ it’s your turn.
👉 Click here to get your free workbook.

💌 Want tips, inspiration, and support delivered to your inbox? Subscribe now and start your journey with me.

🔗 Browse more articles and tools to help you start your next chapter with confidence. Click here to explore.

With love,
Nicky ❤️